Nom du Christ! So… I hate to admit it, you know, I somehow had lost my press pass; maybe Margaret had stolen it from my suit coat that morning, whatever, I don’t know, but I was forced to get in line last week in Bloomington to hear the former president speak at the University of Indiana. It was good at first, out there with the youth, you know? The nascent, tumescent minds awash with the promise of democratic possibility, engaged in the process, getting involved. And then came the shout.

“Yo brah, they’re giving away free Dave Matthews tickets down at the Obama HQ in town!”

The skinny, dreadlocked white kid had called out to his brethren. The line blew away from the Assembly Hall like a sneeze, kids near racing down the hill for the nineties top concert draw, while I was left to slip into hear the nineties top president speak to a far less than capacity crowd.

What connerie! I mean, the cheap political tactic… what John Stewart called “kind of a dick move”, that is, whatever, immaterial. That America’s youth are chugging down hillsides for the music for the frat boy and the dental hygienist… Sacre’Poutine! What is the world coming to?

Dave Matthews? What happened to the music with balls? Where is Dylan, Hendrix, Joplin, and Young? That is the music for the change, no? Reagan, Thatcher, Apartied, and Bush One gave us U2, and Rage, and Public Enemy, Ani goddamn DiFranco! Has the MTV brain been so cooked down to a sickly sweet gastrique? Don’t even get me started on that Black Eyed Peas ‘Yes We Can’ disaster! The ghost of Arlo Guthrie spins in the grave to see the New Century Hootie and the Blowfish trotting out America’s Top ‘B’ List Entertainers (and yes, ma cherie, Scarlett, you make one more The Island and that’s just what you’ll be) to self-importantly preen and croon over Obama’s speech in grainy black and white. Where is Kanye West? Zack De La Rocha?

Oh, Sacre’Merde! That was a mistake! I have just watched the new Will.I.am Obama video and feel like I have to wash my ears! Je suis désolé, but the group that bestowed the world with ‘My Humps’ has a lot to answer for before a nation ought to start listening to its political advice, no?!

Will this campaign ever rock?